Dealing with the Emotional Crisis of Divorce

As a Clinical Hypnotherapist & Psychotherapist I have seen many people going through the emotional rollercoaster of divorce. Clients often go through phases of feeling anger, guilt, a sense of failure and even grief. Beyond is the hope of eventually moving on to feelings of relief, freedom and happiness but for too many people these emotional states stay as just hopes, not reality. 


In my private practice in Guildford ( we focus on helping clients through this challenging transition, to manage the emotional rollercoaster and eventually to try and bring the emotional hopes to a reality. Examples of specifics we focus on include;


  • Changing your Mind Set - this involves a change in perceptions to move to more positive view, no matter what you are going through. I stand by the belief that it is not events that matter but how you interpret them and what you do about them that matters.


  • Learning how to understand and use your emotions - what I always say to my clients is; “If you want to make your life really work, you must make your emotions work for you”. Emotions are there for a reason, even the ones you think are negative and maybe trying to deny or avoid. They are there as a call to action!


  • Bringing consciousness to your life - the worst enemy of anxiety, depression and anger is consciousness. We show how to practice self-compassion and bring empathy and kindness to yourself and to any situation.


  • Reconnecting with your “BluePrint”- this can be seen as putting yourself back together again. For example by seeing old friends, going out, exercising, doing new activities, bringing back old hobbies you enjoyed, finding new interest and passions in your life. The emphasis is on establishing this transition as a new start rather than an end.


  • Getting Sleep – stress often leads to a lack of sleep. Tiredness often leads sufferers feeling burnout and a need for escapism and commonly to the use of self-medication through alcohol, drugs, overeating and sugar addiction. We show how to use both Hypnotherapy and Meditation techniques to provide for a better quality of sleep.


  • Setting New Goals – the focus here is on living purposefully and is connected with these questions: what is it you would like out of life? What do think you deserve? How are you going to achieve it? What makes you happy?


At the worst point in the emotional crisis we can be gripped by feelings of anxiety, fear, anger, grief, guilt, and shame. Unfortunately, that is when most people are moved to make the first call to a divorce lawyer. As a result, people can also end up making short-sighted decisions based on emotional reactions that do not take into account anyone's long-term best interest.


To address this challenge Surrey Psychotherapy has teamed up with Guildford based RHW Solicitors to provide professional help in strengthening mental health during the and after the trauma of divorce.

Surrey PsychotherapySurrey Psychotherapy​M.

Raquel Martin-Lopez,

Psychologist ( MSc in Psych) 

Registered BPS, AfSFH, NCH 

07468 573832